Yeah, Whatever.

so yeah i really could care less today. people have been pesturing me all day, whats wrong AJ, why aren't smiling? well all i can is say do i have to fuckin happy all the fuckin time i mean jeez. i can only act happy for so long then i need like a freakin day to be sad is that to much to ask for so much shit goin on in my life do i not deserve to be sad even the slightest bit. if people actually cared instead of asking what is wrong they would be like i'm here for you if you wanna talk instead of askin me in front of large groups whats wrong. if i wanted to tell you i would.

Everything is kinda messed up in my life right now. i dont know what i want i dont know how i want to feel. do i want to be happy, do i want to be sad, do i not want to care. should i remain this nice guy that everyone loves, should i actually be the one that sits there and listens to your problems. Frankly i am starting to not give a shit what is goin wrong in your life? maybe you should start caring about stuff goin on in my life, or at least listen when im talkin, i hate repeating myself.

Yeah, Whatever, sick of all this shit. Becomin a hermit for the next few weeks. Fuck You.

Meaningless Ramblings to Most.

So lately I have been feeling unlike myself. It isn't all my fault, it's the people in my life, things they have done, and things they haven't. For example, this past weekend I was hanging out with a few friends cause it was someones birthday, the party wasn't til later in the night at another kids house. I wasn't planning on goin to the party but my friend turns to me and was like i would invite you but were trying to keep it small, I didn't mind that i understood then she gets a phone call from this other guy whom she rarely knows and somehow invites him to go with no questions asked, fucked up ain't it.

that was just this weekend. today i get the news my grandpa is goin back into intensive care, and for those who didn't know my grandpa has been in the hospital for the past 3 months and i have only had the chance to visit once, Thursday i will be goin.

top it all off, the girl that i have shown an interest in, and whom seemed to have interest in me decided we can only be best friends, and thats all. so in a nutshell this week has not been goin my way.

on a brighter side i get to hang out with PZ my best friend whom has always been there for me tomorrow night. so later, this is the first of many.